Rogue Culture Aficionado

It's a documented fact, even before Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus, that Men and Women, think and react differently. For instance, consider a trip to the ATM:

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine. 2 Put down your car window. 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6 Put window up. 7 Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine. 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine. 3 Set parking Brake, Put the window down. 4 Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card. 5 Turn the radio down. 6 Attempt to insert card into machine. 7 Attempt to insert card into machine. 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 9 Insert card. 10 Re-insert card the right side up 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 12 Enter PIN. 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 14 Enter amount of cash required. 15 Check make up in rear view mirror. 16 Retrieve cash and receipt. 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook. 19 Re-check make-up again. 20 Drive forwards 2 feet. 21 Reverse back to cash machine. 22 Retrieve card. 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind. 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off. 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27 Release Parking Brake.

This joke has been posted and emailed around the internet for some time but the part that rings most true for me is a woman's need to do 10 different things when they get into their parked cars and none of those things include driving. My Grandmother, Mother, past girlfriends, and Mrs. Padrone all fall prey to this phenomenon... Frankly, I am not sure what they are doing when they get into to their cars.

As a child, my mom would rush us (my 2 brothers and I) to the car to head to the grocery store, the mall, the movies or wherever. Without fail she would get us all in, seat belted, and settled, then she would start to check make up, make sure she has her shopping list, and adjust the mirror (of the car that only she drove every single day). Mind you, we were in the car under the threat of being left at home or spanked because we weren't moving fast enough. And if it was a hot summer day, not only were we rushed to the car faster than usual but we would sit - motionless, car not started, no AC - even longer (or so it seemed). While she primped, excavated her purse, and conducted more mirror and gauge checks than an airline pilot. All while we literally melted, got heat rash from the leather seats, and suffered from dehydration... And so it was, until I started driving myself.

Then there is Mrs. P. who basically illustrates the fact that we, Men, all look for our mothers in our future wives, at least on some levels because dammit she does the same thing my Mom did! And it drives me nuts! It is definitely a woman thing, and no I can't understand. What the hell are you ladies doing when you get into your car?

I was prompted to blog about this after several incidents of me waiting on a parking spot for over 7 minutes. It definitely reminded me of my Mom and Mrs. Padrone's habit, but furthermore I may be suffering from "Parking Syndrome" because I started to fell hot, dehydrated and general dis-ease. Under most circumstances, 7 minutes isn't long but when you are caused to block traffic, because some lady is doing her make-up, talking/texting on the cell, puttering around in the car, or checking the mirrors of the car she just got out of 5 minutes ago - it's a big problem! I have actually been working on a theory called "The Butterfly Effect of Female Car Parking." Which states that most traffic in Los Angeles can be directly correlated to women taking over 7 minutes to get out of their parking space. Look for it to published shortly. And for the love of children everywhere, please don't let them suffer in the heat (or extreme cold), while you meander around the cabin of your vehicle, it's a borderline criminal offense.


It's simple ladies, when you get in the car, how about just starting the car, checking your rear view mirror for oncoming traffic, and getting on down the yellow brick road. It would be greatly appreciate, especially during the hectic holiday season.

"I am debuting my new movie “I Am King” for my new fragrance “I Am King” which is available exclusively at Macy’s. This fragrance is dedicated to Barack Obama, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King and all you men out there who take care of your families and respect and treat yourself like the Kings that we are all. I would like to also announce that this is my audition tape for the next James Bond. There is a black president and it’s time for there to be a black Bond. God Bless."

I don't believe the hype... if Mr. Combs were to actually back up his "beliefs," that we were all Kings, and this product is in recognition of Obama, King, and Ali then it would make sense to donate a portion of the profits (at the very least) to their foundations.

I won't comment on the Black James Bond except to say, we do not need a black James Bond, however we do need a black character that is as cool as Bond. It has been a while since Shaft and Axel Foley.

As for P Diddy: NO, NEVER, HELL NO... Not you P. Diddy, not you. You can never be the Black James Bond.

And may I suggest an alternative to the "I am King" fragrance - Sex Panther, available here.

Enough said.

This weeks, Extended Weekend Women is 2 for 1 special, exhibited in two flavors. Introducing Tanya Ballinger and Kitana Baker.


While Kitana has appeared on various TV shows (Wild On E!, Fast Lane, Big Shot and The Man Show)and music videos (Tommy Lee, Mack 10, and Brian McKnight), you probably remember her best as half of the "Miller Lite Catfight Girls":



As for Miss Ballinger, I wasn't able to find out much about her or too many pictures of her. It seems besides showing up at the occasional Red Carpet event, Tanya has disappeared from the lime light. Stuff Magazine's photos may be the last bikini shots she has ever taken... It's unfortunate, she seems to be that the quintessential "All American Beauty".



In 2001, Playboy hired Kitana to work on a TV show for their network called 'Strip Search' and featured her in 'Playboy's College Girls', 'Playboy's Wet & Wild' and 'Playboy's Book of Lingerie' special edition books, as well as their 'Playboy's College Girls' calendar, where she was Miss December. The producers of the show 'Night Calls 411' took an interest in her, and given that she already worked for Playboy — the channel that airs the 'Night Calls' show - signed her on immediately, and she's now appears on the second and fourth Wednesday each month .



In the meantime look for Kitana in Toxic with Percy "Master P" Miller and Dominique Swain and a small role in the Asian comedy White On Rice

And a note to Advertising Execs everywhere, I don't drink beer but if there were more commercials like this, I may change my mind... so simply put:


Miller Lite "Pillow Fight"

This inaugural "Upgrade" post focuses on upgrading from that Coke can spiked with whiskey (that you think no ones knows about as you drive down Main St., USA) , trying your best to stow your fine cigar in tin foil which is all stuffed haphazardly into a plastic 7-11 bag. Real classy, huh? The answer gentlemen should be a resounding, No!

Start-up company, Max Benjamin, targeting the luxury-conscious traveler, introduces a way for you to actually project an image worth emulating. It's their opinion that a mini cigar bar should always be within arm's reach and therefore they have created The Mini Cigar Bar, a deluxe messenger bag that comes equipped with just about everything you need to transport your cigar wares with class.

Crafted in fine leather with metal detailing and locking clasps, the parcel's cushioned interior is partitioned into three sections large enough to fit three bottles of your favorite spirit. The leather dividers in the bag are adjustable and perfect for a bottle of Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rum. Be sure to check out the new Fall Edition, designed in Crocodile embossed leather (below, right)

This fine accessory comes equipped with all of the accouterments: a quartet set of acrylic tumblers a torch flame lighter, a cylindrical cedar-lined travel humidor (7-9 cigar capacity) and another insulated, cylindrical container, which keeps ice...icy, for up to 4 hours without leakage. The pack also sports three secure pockets on the front for any other little accessories you may need. The handy Velcro flap, can be used to fasten the bag to a golf cart or to the top of a piece of roller luggage, showing that Max Benjamin has thought of everything.

Just in time for the holidays, The Mini on sale now for $267 and is only available at MaxBenjamin.com

	Goverment or Goverment Name, pronounced: "Gov'mint": someone's actual name recognized by the government, and on official ID. kept secret by most thugs who use their alias, street, hood, nick - name. Ex: "Yo, son - don't be using my government name up in here." via: UrbanDictionary.com

I digress form my main topic only to demonstrate that I truly appreciate words, their meanings, their ability to convey images and provoke thought. But it seems Web 2.0's startup companies have neglected to master the fundamentals. Myspace and Facebook are obvious... it's "my space" and a book that shows faces, respectively. But do the following names NOT sound like gibberish, gobbledygook, and baby babble:

Smule, Xnobi, Ocarina, Bajca, Boxee,Jinni, Fring, Infoaxe, Plista, Zenbe, Zoozbeat, Twingr, Zynga, Happenr, Judaka

I understand that the competition and cost for domain names occasionally make it more feasible to come up with something original and cool sounding rather than pay huge fees for a moniker some one else has already "copped". I also get that Twitter "tweets" what you are going to be doing at 3pm to all your friends. And it's not a far jump from the twitching one experiences from "Crackberry" withdrawal... or waiting for that next important call, text, or email (ahem Mrs. P). But these company names are an assault on (and insult to) the English language. Not to mention, the branding nightmare most of them must create.

Obviously, I am not a marketing genius. But isn't it common sense to have a name that conjures up an image somewhee in the realm of what your company does, produces, or at least mentions the names of the people that own the company? The names above conjure images of various items that have nothing to do with: Snacks (Twingr), Lord of The Rings character(Bajca), Diseases (Plista... yuck!) - or quite frankly just some made up bullshit. No offense to the companies, I am sure they do, whatever they do, very well. It's worth noting too, that most of the companies aforementioned were taken from the past weeks posts over at Techcrunch.com... and they all were getting enormous amounts of money (re: millions!) to do... what they do. Maybe I should come up with a silly gibberish name and pitch it to raise millions in capital to fund another social network or app that we don't really need. Better yet maybe I should just start buying up any words I hear toddlers speak and sell the domain's to the highest bidder. Unfortunately, I may have already been beat to the punch.

Look, I enjoy words whether they're used counter-culturally, connotatively, contemplatively, or counter-intuitively... their use is relevant depending on how, when, and by whom they are used. But this trend of silly sounding names for social networks and apps really must cease. It's not cute, funny, or clever. Just like the recent trend in television commercials that don't show the product they're advertising, but splash the brand name at the end of it so that we know a name (in most case we still have no clue what they are selling), it's utter nonsense...but that's a topic for another post!

German startup, Cellity has unveiled Addressbook 2.0, for mobile phones, now available in a private beta. The application will allow those who still use a basic cell phone to aggregate data from across their emails, social networks, and standard address books into a single intuitive application, bringing the functionality of a smartphone to an estimated 650 more basic phones that support the Java platform, a significant marketshare not covered by the likes of the Iphone.

To get started, users import their friend lists from social networks including Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, as well as from email clients like Outlook. The service will automatically detect when a friend is found on multiple social networks and aggregate their data under a single profile without creating duplicates. Also since address books generated using social networks can grow very large very quickly, the site offers an online control panel to manage contacts. Users can create a database consisting of thousands of entries to be stored in the cloud, picking out the few dozen that they use most regularly to be stored on the phone (they can access the full list from their phones if they ever need it). The online panel also allows includes the same features of the mobile app, allowing users to place cheap calls (currently just over their own network), send text messages, and update social network statuses.

From the screen shots, Addressbook 2.0's design is very polished,and hopefully they will live up to their potential, especially if they maintain their focus on traditional address book functionality as opposed to attempting to mobilize social networking, where plenty of competitors exist.

via Techcrunch

K.D. Aubert (born Karen Denise Aubert) was born in Shreveport, Louisiana and is of Creole descent. She speaks French, and was a self-confessed tomboy growing up.

She traded in the hurricane plagued swamps for the fire plagued hills of California when she came to college at San Diego State University, to play softball no less. It was there that K.D. was first noticed, and her modeling career took off.

In addition to Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood, K.D. has modeled for Noxema, AT&T, Wilson’s Leather, and Escada. She’s also appeared in ads for Bacardi and as one of the “Fantanas” (four attractive girls who can’t seem to stop dancing because they’re so excited by the taste of Fanta soft drinks). Not to mention being ranked in Maxim's Hot 100 in 2003 and 2004. As for the comparison to Ms. Jolie... judge for yourself.

KD Aubert definitely seems to have mastered the ability to look innocent and still sex it up at will. We will be watching Ms. Aubert.

In celebration of their 60th Anniversary, Puma is set to release two of their past models, the Puma Arkitel 61 & Rennschuh 2, to a limited number of distributors this week. Simply stated, these kick are the epitome of cool. Each model holds true to their respective distant cousins of the 40's and 50's but they have both been updated with premium textiles; a mixture of leather and suede. Furthermore each style comes in both black and white colorways , highlighted by detailed stitching (in orange, my favorite) to add the finishing touch.


The Arkitel 61 is inspired by Puma's first soccer boot, the updated version is like a modern day driving shoe, great for taking long rides up the Pacific Coast Highway.

The Rennnshue 2, is a modern take on Puma's first track spike. The spikes are now replaced with a rubber sole, leaving the clean, foot hugging, outer silhouette that Pumas does so well in many of their best kicks, which provides pure comfort.

Expect to drop a $100.00 or more to own these cool "cats."

Via: Sneakernews.com

Last week was incredible!!! Our New President elect, Barack Obama, made history as the first black man to ever achieve our nations highest office. This of course has had a rippling effect around the globe for various social and economic reasons. I for one have never witnessed other countries around the world, from Australia to Kenya, so ecstatic to see our country's newly elected President. Furthermore, children of every race, will no longer be bound to the old unspoken rules, images, and beliefs, that our country can only be lead by "old white men." The door of change, and hope, has been significantly cracked open and it's up to future generations to kick in the door for anyone, man or woman, brilliant-, driven- and dedicate- enough to successfully lead our country; not as a multitude of races, religions, and creeds, but rather as The United States/People of America!

You would not expect a woman with the named Olga to be hot... in fact when I first heard the name I imagined a burly, older woman, stirring a large pot of goulash with her huge forearms and man hands for factory workers in eastern Europe. I could not have been more wrong!

Ukranian born, model-turned actress, Olga Kurylenko, will be playing, new Bond Girl, "Camille" opposite Daniel Craig in Quatum of Solace (in theaters this week). This statuesque and exotic beauty has done a handful of films, of note, Paris, je t'aime and The Serpent. So far, she has no problem shedding her clothes, "As long as it makes the film more enjoyable to watch."

I haven't seen any of her films, yet... but I am sure they will be completly "enjoyable."