Rogue Culture Aficionado

Among other things, I am a lover of dogs. While growing up, my brothers and I were the proud owners of 2 German Shepards, 1 English Sheep Dog, 1 Great Dane, 1 Labrador, a Mut or two, and then there was that pesky, annoying, nippy, little, Lhasa Apsa, I named Sugar Pops - my favorite cereal at the time. Yes, I realize that once uttering Lhasa Apsa and Sugar Pops with adoration is totally suspect and completely incongruent with my stated mission... but, again I say, "I was only 8 years old!"

I don't really remember how Sugar Pops disappeared. Subconsciously, maybe I knew even then that little dogs and Men don't mix. But for the sake of my Mom, who may read this one day, let's just say there was an an unfortunate incident. I stayed home from school the Monday after my Mom purchased Sugar Pops. I thought we would get to know each other better. But after half a day of what could have been our "bonding time", turned out to be her biting time - as she bit/nipped/teethed me for nearly 5 hours - I had to put her out on our enclosed patio, which was around 2pm. When my Mom arrived at 4pm, Sugar Pops was gone. I can't say I was too sad to see her go... although I do vaguely remember seeing some kids walking home from school playing with a dog that looked just like mine as I feel asleep that afternoon (maybe I thought I was dreaming)... Either way, that was the first and last "little" dog we ever had to endure. My brothers, who were 1 and 5 years old at the time, should be thankful for my carelessness because they never had to endure a little dog again either. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to be a big brother to you all...

Since you did not have Il Padrone to guide you then, please take advantage now and stop with the little dogs already. It's just not cool... or manly! Seriously, every time I see a 240lb man walking down the street with a dog the size of his shoe, I have to laugh out loud.. almost to the point where I feel like yelling "Pussy" out of the window as I cruise on by in my manly 1968 Linc0ln Continental. It's embarrassing for all Men-kind. Of note, Tayes Diggs and Jay Mohr both, have been spotted with these little bitches (or maybe they're sires) walking around town.

In what other avenue of life do men own something that small, puffy, fluffy, furry and cute - babies come close but they don't stay that way forever. And let's not forget all of the stuff that comes with little dog ownership: pee-pee pads, bows, combs, crystal encrusted collars, and pink leashes. It's like the women have their men playing with four legged Barbies. I dare call this a form of social castration. Listen to one woman gush about her husband at K9 Kloud9:

"One of the cutest things to see in my humble opinion is big men with little dogs. I am sure when they were growing up the last thing they envisioned was being a caretaker of a Teacup Poodle, Yorkie, Chihuahua etc, but life has a twisted sense of humor. There is really no way for these burly men to go [un]noticed, but isn't that the fun of it all? I am touched by the ability for tenderness, love and overall protection of these fragile creatures ( the men that is)."

It's sickening, frightening, and hilarious. Ladies please realize that the only fragile creature we should demonstrate "tenderness, love and overall protection" to (besides our children) is you! A real man's dog not only provides companionship when we need to be alone, they also assist in our duties to protect everything we hold dear. What can a Teacup-anything protect?

This form of Pussification has flown under the radar for quite some time, mainly because we assume these little dogs belong to the women in these men's lives. If that is the case, it's actually worse, and ranks up there with a man carrying a woman's purse. Does anybody recall the John Elway incident at the Denver Nuggets game in May, 2008? He was ridiculed in the Blogosphere, on the Radio and ESPN. One notable remark from blogger Debbie Schlussel:

"Sorry, guys. This photo is real--not photoshopped. Yup, star quarterback (retired) John Elway is carrying a purse. No word on whether it's Chanel or Prada. Also, no word on whether he's now shaving his legs or renting "Beaches." But, apparently, he is, indeed, into this season's fashionable citrus colors in purses."

Damn! That's John Elway she's talking about. C'mon!

So do yourself a favor and get a real dog. Don't run out and get a Pitbull or Mastiff to over compensate (like the guys who buy Corvettes), but please, please stay away from the Chihuahuas, Yorkies and the god-forsaken Teacup!

For the record I am the proud owner of a Chinese Shar Pei - once known as fighting dogs and also used to hunt wild boar in China - these dog are equal parts cute and fierce. Also try to keep in mind what your dog says about you: BIG DOGS say certain thing about the man, and SMALL DOGS say certain other things... Just a thought.

Master Fu Wutang My Man Jr. and All Dat
aka Fu...
Greatly approves this post!

Can you actually wrap your mind around this amount of money? Let's see if I can help you!

One million dollars equals approximately 2,200 pounds, which we'll call a ton + a little bit
One billion equals approximately 1,100 tons
One trillion equals approximately 1.1 million tons.

If you were standing next to a pile of $1 trillion in one dollar bills and threw a dollar into a fire every second. You will be standing in front of that fire for 31,710 years!

A stack of one thousand dollar bills totaling a one million dollars would be 4 inches tall. Take that same stack multiply it buy one million it would be equal to one billion dollars and stand about 357 feet. Now take your billion dollar stack multiply it by a million and and you would have a trillion dollars stand 68 miles high. Do you realize that commercial airlines don't even fly that high???

$1 Trillion dollars placed end to end would reach from the Earth to the Sun!!!

Still not getting it?

Ok, maybe if you were to think of it the way David Leonhardt illustrated in the New York Times almost two years ago:

"For starters, [$1 trillion] would pay for an unprecedented public health campaign — a doubling of cancer research funding, treatment for every American whose diabetes or heart disease is now going unmanaged and a global immunization campaign to save millions of children’s lives.

Combined, the cost of running those programs for a decade wouldn’t use up even half our money pot. So we could then turn to poverty and education, starting with universal preschool for every 3- and 4-year-old child across the country. The city of New Orleans could also receive a huge increase in reconstruction funds.

The final big chunk of the money could go to national security. The recommendations of the 9/11 Commission that have not been put in place — better baggage and cargo screening, stronger measures against nuclear proliferation — could be enacted. Financing for the war in Afghanistan could be increased to beat back the Taliban’s recent gains, and a peacekeeping force could put a stop to the genocide in Darfur."

Interestingly, Leonhardt writes, that the Iraq War cost a couple of billion dollars a week and, over the full course of the war, there will be an eventual total of $700 billion in direct spending.

It seems that G.W. has his mind set on spending $700 billion on something whether it was the War or bailing out his friends at Bear, Stearns & Co and others like them.

The bottomline is, we would not be in this horrible economic situation if not for G.W.'s thirst for war, his lack of actual governing by regulating financial firms, and finally, just other general tomfoolery, carelessness, and ignorance demonstrated by him and his administration!

IMPEACH BUSH TODAY!!

She was friends with Flipper, a Dark Angel, a sweet dance teacher named Honey, and an Invisible Girl... but you probably remember her most as the Stripper in Sin City:

For the record, Jessica Alba was born in Pomona, California, to Mark Alba (who is of Mexican descent), and Catherine Jensen (who is of French and Danish ancestry). Will the wonders of living in the "great melting pot" ever cease?

"My first kiss was when I was 7, and it was scandalous because he was 10! I only did it so he would pick me on our neighborhood baseball team. And at the time, I thought it was great, but then it sucked because he didn't even pick me!"

I am sure there are some pick-up games across the nation that would not hesitate to run the bases with you!

This one is for you El Matador, enjoy!

If you are a Car enthusiast, then you know there is not a car more loved by Americans, than the 1969 Chevy Camaro. The first generation design has gone down as one of the most popular in Automobile history. This week at the Texas Motor Speed Way, the production model Camaro was showcased and thankfully it held true to the Concept Car version, while updating the classic lines of the original. GM Chairman and CEO G. Richard Wagoner recently stated:

“The overwhelmingly enthusiastic response to the Camaro Concept continues to remind me of the uniquely iconic place our products can have in customers’ hearts... Camaro is much more than a car; it symbolizes America’s spirit and its love affair with the automobile.”

The Camaro has touched many lives – and graced many garages – with nearly 4.8 million vehicles produced between 1967 and 2002. More than 1,000 Camaro clubs exist globally, and thousands of Camaro web sites pay homage to the sports coupe. A recent report on America Online’s Top Searches of 2007 placed Camaro in the Top 10 car searches for the year. And it looks like this trend will continue with the newest model going on sale in the first quarter of 2009!

The new version has that familiar aggressive front fascia, wide rear fender flares with embossed "vents", and dual exhaust above the twin pairs of tail lights. The very cool, retro-styled interior mixes 1969 aggressiveness, with high-tech refinement. Check out the old-school gauges - complete with center console-mounted pressure and temp - set off against the modern sound system and steering wheel-mounted controls.

The rumor is the base model will feature a 300-hp, injected V6, that will get nearly 26-mpg for about $23k. Tons of bang for the buck, that also won't make you curse your decision every time you pull up to the pump.

I remember being ecstatic when we were able to port our cellphone numbers to any service provider in 2006. My contract with Cingular (now AT&T) was ending and I was looking for a more economic service plan, better reception, and, frankly, a cooler cell phone. Now Google takes this business model and has patented it for the phone itself.

As reported on TechCrunch.com:

"The Google patent for 'Flexible Communication Systems and Methods' contends that cellphone users should also have the freedom to connect through various networks and methods, and that the communication service they choose at any particular time and location should be determined by competitive market forces.

The idea is that you could, for example, make phone calls and browse the internet on your smartphone via WiFi when at home, Verizon when downtown, and perhaps AT&T when out in the countryside. You’d base your decision on both pricing and quality of service, with the quality of coverage in your current location playing a major role."

Obviously this will work in favor of Google proposed gPhone , since their lobbying the FCC to grant licensing for use of white spaces (700mghz spectrum between TV channels) to give broader access to broadband users and products like the gPhone. Obvioulsy, Android -powered phones would be the first products able to use these"white spaces."

While it excites me to possibly be free of cell phone contracts, unfortunately, it further instills my belief that we may be endanger of becoming a GoogleNation . Think about it: The Android, the new Chrome browser, the Google-Yahoo pact, their new Wikipedia rival: Knols and, not to mention, being the most powerful/popular search engine on the Internet. Google will control not only how we find information but could easily control what information we are allowed to seek. Is it a far leap for Google to actually generate the information too? They have made it so easy to fall prey to GoogleNation, too. Take me for example, I am posting this through Blogger and I am considering changing my main email to a Gmail, precisely because of all of the wonderful Google paraphernalia: Google Docs, Google Calendar, Picasa, iGoogle, Adsense, Adworld and on and on and on. Somewhere we have to draw the line. Right now it's the Internet, none of us want it to become "Googlenet," do we? And as easily as Google has befriended us, there could come a time when they are not so friendly. Then what? I don't have the answers but I do believe Google's development should be watched carefully.

I will leave you with my paraphrased, reworked, quote mashup, originally made by Lord Acton and Sir Francis Bacon, that just happens to be well illustrated in today's volatile economy:

"If Knowledge is power, which tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Then great companies that control knowledge are almost always bad companies with far too much power, yet to be discovered."

Think about it.

It's doubtful the kids buying Hip Hop albums these days know just how talented Notorious Big was back in the day. And after I read the script, it's doubtful that "Generation Me" will even care. The script wasn't bad, per se, but it's just too late to tell this particular Hip Hop story. It also leaves a bad taste in my mouth because once again P. Diddy capitalizes off the skills, charisma and legend of his much loved counter part and friend. Most likely, this will end up as rainy Sunday afternoon fare.

Jamal "Gravy" Woolard (a.k.a. the guy who got shot in the ass outside of Hot 97), who has no onscreen experience was cast partly because of his resemblance to Biggie and partly because he's a well-known lyricist in the mixed tape arena. But other than that, the supporting cast which includes; Angela Bassett as Voletta Wallace, Derek Luke as a flashy young P. Diddy, Naturi Naughton as Lil' Kim, and Anthony Mackie as Tupac, will be shouldering the weight of this one.

Maybe I will change my mind in January and check it out... but I doubt it.

Entourage is one of the few shows on TV that I consider a guilty pleasure. It's shows some truth, propagates some Hollywood mythology, and then, on occasion, it shows what SHOULD happen in the real world. There are a number of people in "The Industry" that could stand a bit of the old school machismo that Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) demonstrated in Sunday's episode.

Jeremy Piven's career trek would never be an episode of Entourage - it's too sad, boring, and repetitive; audition, get passed on, another audition, do low budget crappy movie, and repeat every day for 20 years! So Jeremy's recent rise to success, his take on Ari Gold, and his still earthy demeanor, makes you appreciate his story even more. Obviously, Hollywood has taken note, as Piven was awarded his third Emmy for Best Supporting Actor on Sunday.

You thought I forgot... but I didn't. I decided to shake things up a bit, after seeing The Toledo Show on Sunday night. As I mentioned the tattooed and pierced aren't usually my thing but Sabina Kelly is definitely the exception.

This busy blond, a former Las Vegas Showgirl and mother of two, is currently an international Pin-Up Girl and Burlesque performer. Additionally, she and husband, Kent Kelly, own a tattoo shop in Vegas called Stay True Tattoo. At 5'10, (Chest:34DD, Waist: 25, Hip:38, Wt:130lbs), Sabina will not pose in the nude, unless of course, it was for Playboy. (Mr. Hefner you may need to lift your ban on tattoos!) Sabina is easily recognized because she has both arms tattooed, and has no plans on stopping. Most recently Mr. Cartoon, the East Los Angeles tattoo artist legend, did her knuckles pictured above. Although Sabina claims not to enjoy the tattooing process, she does add that she, "Love's it when it's done."

The statuesque blond bombshell's fashion advice to all the ladies is, "Always have a pair black heels and a tube of red lipstick in your car, you never know..."

OK. Enough said.

Mrs. Padrone and I stepped out last night to a little joint that should be up every man's alley. The always hot Mrs. Padrone wore her sexiest high heels, and slit legged skirt, my personal favorite. And not be too out done, I donned my favorite pair of Asprey cuff links and coordinating Thomas Pink tie; both gifts from my lovely wife! Needless to say we looked like superstars... but I digress. We made our way to the west side of Los Angeles, which is rare for us, to check out a hot band I recently heard about, The Toledo Show at Harvelles, - a dive, blues bar that has been around since 1931. The likes of Ike Turner, Imperial Crowns, and John Lee Hooker Jr., have performed there and we wanted to see for ourselves what all the fuss was about.

Why should a place like this be up every man's alley, you may ask? To begin with, it's a bar. No fancy ridiculously, decorated high-tech McNightclub here. It is definitely a joint in every sense of the word, from the red leather banquets, to the no nonsense door policy (which is: if you pay $10, then you get in). The crowd: a nice mix of young and old, brown and beige, hipsters and the not-so-hip, all made it even more funky.

DJ Vicious Lee definitely put us in the mix, by warming up the crowd for the main attraction, spinning the perfect blend of old and new school hip hop/dance music.

The show opened with Toledo's dancers, affectionately known as The Dames: 4 burlesque types, that would be considered "hype-men" if Toledo were a rap artist. The band, comprised of a trumpet, drums, key board, bass, and a busty, bubbly, backup singer opened the show with a funky bass line and the BOOM BAP, BOOMBOOM BAP of the drums. Then Toledo entered the stage, wearing Zoot Suit-esques attire, fingerless leather gloves, a broad-rimmed hat, and sunglasses. His vocal styling are best described as a blend of Eartha Kit's growl (if she were a man), James Brown's incoherency, and Prince's funk during the New Power Generation. And it's here where you first notice 2 major problems.

After reading my description of Toledo's voice, the first problem is obvious: unfortunately I could not understand a damn thing he was singing or singing about. During the first hour and half set, all I was able to make out was "...fishnets...", "...lions roar...", and "...sexy, m.f" spread across maybe 10 songs. But he definitely gets points for showmanship and the cigarette smoke posturing, male bravado, which was entertaining to say the least.

The other problem was with The Dames, who intially were a pleasant surprise. But the grungy, Riot Girl-style, beat up look is really not my taste, per se. (There are only a handful of the tattooed and pierced set that have crossover appeal in my opinion -these were not them) Also there were no costume changes, and the choreography was redundant... which made their whole presence redundant...kind of like how this sentence has become... REDUNDANT!

Thankfully, the music (Toledo and the DJ) was great, danceable, and just plain cool. So I still would recommend Harvelles and the Toledo Show as a way to start a night on the town. You can step outside to grab a quick smoke (Mrs. Padrone's guilty pleasure), the drinks are reasonably priced, the staff is courteous, and ultimately it's just a damn good time. The only other caveat to this would be that since the show starts at 9:30pm (a bit late for me on Sunday), I decided to forgo the second set, so that I could enjoy Mrs. Padrone's high heels in private. You have to have your priorities man!!

Gurkha takes the term "burning through money" to the next level. Considered by many to be literally, "the cream of the crop" of cigars, Gurkha caters specifically to smoke collectors and aficionados. They released the Black Dragon in 2006 limited to only 5 hand-carved, camel bone cases, and cost a mind-blowing $1,150 each. Not for each case, but rather for each cigar! Each case had 100 cigars and cost $115,000. For something you set on fire... intentionally.


Gurhka didn't even attempt to out due themselves with His Majesty's Reserve cigars. So for the more frugal cigar connoisseur these only retail for $15,000 per box of 20, or $750 for a single cigar. They are limited to less than 100 boxes per year, made with the most expensive premium tobacco in the world, infused with an entire bottle of Louis XIII Cognac and then their allocation is decided by Gurkha President Kaizad Hansotia. Why is all of this done? Because they can. Head over to Cigar.com to pick up your box of either edition.

Or for us mere mortals and more frugal aficionados (read: realistic), especially in this chaotic economy, Gurkha has released the Black Dragon ranging in price from $10-$13 in three sizes. Like the elite version, this line is hand made of long-filler tobacco, in the Toraño family’s Danli, Honduras, factory. Sorry no Cognac infusion here.

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic' and 'different.'

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're an American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic, Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track, and you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, then you're well-grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, help register 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, 8 years as a State Senator of a district of 750,000 people, chair the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people, sponsor 131 bills, and serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

But when your resume reads: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the Mayor of a town of 7,000 people, 2 years as Governor of a state of 650,000 people, you're qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife, while she was ill, with a rich heiress, AND THEN married the heiress a month after you met, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the use of birth control, you erode the fiber of American society.

If you staunchly advocate abstinence-only education, while your teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, you don't represent America's family values.

If your husband is called 'First Dude', has a DWI conviction, didn't register to vote until 25, and was a member of a group that advocated secession of Alaska from the USA, yours is the quintessential American family.

If you are noted for your ability to appeal to the masses, widely known for your interpersonal communication skills and ability to make both sides believe you have their best interest at heart, then you are not fit to lead.

And, finally, if you're famous for your quick temper, you should be the one to have your finger on the little red button.

Models,.... boy do we love 'em! I am not talking about the models of today whom no one quite knows their names. I mean the Supermodels. Tall, curvaceous, beautiful, and basically untouchable for the common man. While Janice Dickinson cites herself as coining the phrase AND becoming the first "Supermodel". According to Vanity Fair, there are only six women that everyone knew by their first name, considered to be the pinnacle of beauty, and are best known for their Supermodel-ness, begining in the late 80's; Christy, Naomi, Stephanie, Cindy, Claudia, and, by most accounts, the leader of the pack was Linda.

So keep in mind fellas, although you may date a model or two, unless you are talking about one of the "Sexiest Six"... I don't want to hear about it. Look for more on the Supermodels of that era soon, including Veronica Webb, Helena Christensen, Elle MacPherson and the youngster of the group, Kate Moss.

Thank you Linda Evangelista, for making Monday a bit less blue (and more blond and red.

And thank you to all Supermodels, for setting our standards so impossibly high!

There is no greater threat to your manhood than the styles thwarted upon us by websites like, Mens.Style.com. I peruse the site on occasion and find they do have some interesting content... On occasion. I was lured there this time by a Lebron James x Ralph Lauren inspired, limited edition, collectible, basketball and clicked because I was curious. Tell me this wouldn't be cool to have autographed, by the designer and the player:

But then I scrolled down and came across this horrible shoe called the Quoddy, (sorry, SouthWillard.com,$250.00 is too much for this) which illustrates a small part of the problem with men's fashion and the people that attempt to dictate our style to us not for us and have only a vague view of what men really want to wear.

Do yourself a favor... grab a pair of the Adidas ZX700 Boat Shoe (about $100) instead and really step into the Fall season like a man. Here are 3 different styles from the staple and low key to the fashion forward.

Look for Part 2 of my criticism of men's style design.

After reading about Andrew Liszewski's, of Gizmodo, great eEbay find, the Sharp MR-990 Melody Searcher Boombox With Mini-Organ (pictured below) ! Yours for ONLY $299 plus $150.00 shipping!. (image above by HOAKSER) I got to thinking about how Hip Hop is now weaved into the fabric of American culture. Then I got to thinking about replicating the vintage B-Boy style...




















If you are a true Hip Hop Head then you have to appreciate the NOW classic paraphernalia that accompanied the culture back in the day. And though we have surely upgraded from the monstrosity of the Sony Boom Box... you have to admit it sure was fun to listen to a Boom Box on a cool summer evening while you tried the newest Breakdancing moves.

But who knew that prices would get this out of hand? So press play on the video and continue reading as I get you ready to relive Hip Hop's Golden years!!! Fresh for 2008... YOOOUUUU SUCKAAAAS!!!

To complete then authentic look of a B-Boy, circa 1985, you will need the following items:

Cazal sunglasses , only for the chosen few, these were supposedly worn by DMC himself, $1429.

Adidas Superstars 35 Limited Edition(as in only 35 pair limited),$500-$1000.

Top off with a freshly updated Kangol, a Fragment Design x Kangol creation, $100.

The gear won't look right if you don't have the official B-Boy swagger. So you'll have to study up on the latest moves, that are far beyond the average B-boy's skill from back in the day. Then after studying the chart be sure to check out Planet B-Boy to view the moves in live action... (I recently caught a part of this movie on premium cable and a full review will follow in the near future):

















Now let's calculate the cost of getting your authentic B-Boy style on, forgoing the gold chains of course, and assuming you just have an old cardboard box laying around to do your moves on... The total cost is about $3000....

PLUS the cost of credit repair ($1425 for some used 80's sunglasses, C'MON!), getting insulted for purchasing a boom box, and then there will be the hospital bill after attempting any of the moves in the pictures or film...

IS QUITE SIMPLY, HILARIOUSLY...
PRICELESS!

I say check out the movie, enjoy the outrages dance moves and music, AND then get on with your life!!